The Lie of Equal Footing: Why I No Longer Want to Compete With Men
Feminism told us we could do anything men could do. And somewhere along the way, that turned into: You should. You must. And if you don’t, you’re wasting your potential.
So we rose to the occasion.
We got the degrees.
We chased the promotions.
We broke glass ceilings and took pride in proving we could thrive in a man’s world.
And for a while, that felt like progress.
Even… power.
We became the breadwinners, the bosses, the “have-it-all” women.
We leaned in, stepped up, and outperformed everyone in our path.
But somewhere between the ambition and the applause, something started to fracture.
Quietly. Invisibly.
We became exhausted.
Disconnected.
Anxious.
And still, so many of us kept going, because to question it felt like betrayal. Like regression. Like weakness.
But I’ll say what so many are afraid to utter out loud:
Did we ever actually want to compete with men?
Or were we just trying to survive in a system that never considered what we were made for?
The System Was Never Built for Us
Let’s tell the truth: the modern workforce wasn’t designed for women.
Not for mothers.
Not for rhythm.
Not for 28-day cycles.
And certainly not for rest.
It was built for men with stay-at-home wives and 9-to-5 energy.
Linear schedules. External output. Constant availability.
And instead of reimagining what work could look like through a feminine lens, we were handed a blazer and told to keep up.
We bought the lie that equality meant sameness.
That to be powerful, we had to act like men.
That our hormones, emotions, and natural rhythms were problems to overcome—not signals to honor.
So we suppressed them.
We caffeinated.
We compartmentalized.
We numbed.
And we told ourselves we were empowered.
Even as our bodies broke down.
Even as our relationships suffered.
Even as our hearts whispered, Is this really it?
I Didn’t Leave Because I Couldn’t Hang
My decision to walk away from Corporate wasn’t about failure.
It was about clarity.
I didn’t leave because I wasn’t smart enough.
I didn’t leave because I couldn’t keep up.
I left because I finally admitted to myself the truth:
I didn’t want that version of success.
I didn’t want to delay motherhood any longer than I already had.
I didn’t want to miss the moments that matter.
I didn’t want to build someone else’s dream while mine sat in a journal collecting dust.
The world called that “stepping back.”
But for me, it was the boldest step forward I’ve ever taken.
Into purpose.
Into peace.
Into something eternal.
Designed Differently Doesn’t Mean Designed Less
The world loves to say that women can do anything men can do.
And while that might be true in some ways, the more important question is: should we?
God didn’t create women to mimic masculine energy.
He created us with something distinct and sacred.
He gave us a capacity to nurture, to hold space, and to birth life - physically, emotionally, spiritually.
“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” (Proverbs 14:1)
That verse isn’t just about home in the literal sense.
It’s about legacy.
About intention.
About how we invest our energy and what we’re choosing to build.
You can build a business.
You can build a brand.
But if you’re not building the people in your home, you’re missing the point.
Feminism elevated the individual.
But legacy is built through family.
Through devotion.
Through presence.
Through the holy work of showing up - day after day - for the people who count on you most.
This Isn’t Weakness. It’s Wisdom.
Some people will say this mindset is “anti-feminist.”
Some will say I’m in favor of setting us back 50 years, and that I need to check my “internalized misogyny.”
But I think we need to consider the possibility that feminism didn’t go too far - it just veered way off course.
We traded one kind of bondage for another.
We stopped asking what kind of life women actually wanted.
And we started asking how we could be more like men.
But I believe the future depends on women who are willing to ask a better question:
What does God want from me?
Not the algorithm.
Not my old boss.
Not culture.
God.
And His design isn’t arbitrary - it’s intentional.
Rooted in peace.
Rhythm.
Legacy.
A Different Kind of Power
I no longer want to compete with men.
I want to be the kind of woman who builds something that outlasts her résumé.
Who raises children who know who they are.
Who creates from rest, not burnout.
Who is powerful because she is anchored in faith.
I want my daughter to know that her worth doesn’t depend on how many degrees she earns or how many hours she grinds.
I want her to know that building a life of love and presence and generational impact is not second-best.
It’s the most radical thing she can do in a world addicted to self.
So no, I don’t want “it all.”
I want what matters.
And that may look like less to the world.
But in the Kingdom, it’s everything.
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